Doyle's Devotions to the Goddess My life. Love it, leave it. Choices I've made, regretted, accepted, you'll find it all here.

Monday, September 08, 2003 :::
Dearest Isis,

Thank you for the revelations and insights this past week. I ask that you continue to help me understand myself and to work on the faults that I can change, to accept the ones I can't, and to appreciate myself for who I am. To make me smile and think of something special during times of sorrow, to give me strength when I grow weary, and to help me become better than I am.

By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...

::: posted by Scott at 5:34 AM

Monday, September 01, 2003 :::
Good morning Goddess,

Unfortunately the sun has already set over your Earth, but the night comes alive with your creatures as the stars and moon illuminate the night. Guide me, help me, comfort me with your love and hear my prayers.

By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...

::: posted by Scott at 7:35 AM

Sunday, August 31, 2003 :::
Finally cracked down and spent the five bucks on a LiveJournal. I'll still use this one for thoughts and meditations to the goddess, but my day to day thoughts and events will be here:

::: posted by Scott at 4:04 PM

Saturday, May 17, 2003 :::
Thank you Goddess for helping me through my weigh-in this morning. You continue to guide and help me in my times of need. I appreciate all your love and support. Thank you, Isis.

By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...

::: posted by Scott at 12:45 AM

Thursday, May 15, 2003 :::
Ten days. That's it. All I have left. I'm getting more stressed and upset as time draws closer. I'm nervous about leaving, I'm nervous about Suz staying here, I'm worried about everything... <>

I got Suz a gift the other day... Egyptian wedding bands. They were engraved with our character names from Highlander. I thought it was cool since they were both from that time period. She liked them, but I think she would have liked it more if it were our real names. Should have known. I just wanted to do something different. <> Oh well...

Suz has been going to the doctor and the dentist for last-minute exams and check-ups. She had wanted to get braces and went to an orthodontist, but they said she needed gum-work first. So we went to a regular dentist for a cleaning and referral. And she found out she needs a tooth pulled. Next week, she will go to get checked for the gum check-up. Today, she went and had an ultrasound for her pelvic-pains. I really hope she follows up on all these. I want her to get everything taken care of and stays healthy. I'm going to make sure Mystique takes her everywhere and keeps me informed on everything.

Still out-processing... trying to get Mystique a year-long pass, movers coming Tuesday, need to clear the base, get my records... <> Dad's coming Sunday for a day-visit.... I'm just so tired. Suz and I barely have anytime alone anymore... A year is just so long...

Goddess, please help us... watch over us. Give us strength to survive and overcome. Give us your love and comfort. Help us to look forward to the future, Germany and Europe will be wonderful... and we will have each other. Keep us safe and protect us.

By the Force and the Spirit within.... all my love, for all the forevers...

::: posted by Scott at 10:26 PM

Sunday, May 04, 2003 :::
Goddess, why does she think that I don't like her?? Why does she not realize how much I love her?? How can I convince her, or show her how much I care? It seems like she feels everything that is happening is her fault and as a result I don't like her because of it. I don't know why, it's not true at all.

Now she is upset with me for not defending her about what happened with Michelle. Of course, I am!! I've already defended her to my mom and explained it to my dad as well. And I will soon be talking to him about it as well, just because I didn't do it the first time he called doesn't mean I'm not going to. Not to mention he is going to be visiting before I go as well and seeing both of us. My Dad isn't going to take sides, he's not like that. He likes Suz alot, I already know that from the previous times he's been here. I've only met Michelle like twice and I noticed how she got on people's skin. I'm sure my Dad is aware of that also.

Oh Isis, why do things have to be so hard and painful before I leave? I just wanted to spend my remaining time with Suz, comforting her and being happy as much as possible. None of that has happened at all these past months. It is hard enough to leave her, but leaving like this is so much worse. She is shutting me out, trying not to let herself feel, and not seeing how much I care. So am I, in some aspects, I suppose. I'm trying not to, I want to be there and love her as much as I can, but I don't seem to be able to reach her now. Her walls and defenses are built up. That's not good for her, or for me. A year from now, will be they too fortified to take down? Will I be able to bring her out and into my love??

Watch over us your children, Goddess. Bring us your love and strength. Guide Suz with your loving embrace, show her your comfort. Help her to feel my warmth and give her the courage to endure the upcoming year. I love her with every fiber of my being, I just wish I could manage to show that to her. Keep us safe, Isis. We honor your name.

By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...

::: posted by Scott at 5:41 PM

Thursday, May 01, 2003 :::
For the record, I don't think I did that great on my testing. I did decent, I hope, but if I pass, it will have more to do with the Goddess' blessing and wanting me to make Staff Sargeant than me actually knowing the information.

But it is over now, Beltaine is upon us. The fertility of the land, the coming of summer, the promise of life and joy. Goddess bless me with joy and happiness, give it to Suz in out trying times. Give us both the strength to overcome...

By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...

::: posted by Scott at 10:04 PM

failed to post yesterday, written - 4/30/2003

Isis, please grant me wisdom and knowledge for tomorrow. Guide me and help me during my testing, ensure I have a clear mind and sharp judgement. May your wisdom bring me success and help me pass my test. I beseech you and pray for your assistance.

By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...

::: posted by Scott at 10:00 PM

May Isis shine down upon thee

My life. Love it, leave it. Choices I've made, regretted, accepted, you'll find it all here.

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