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Doyle's Devotions to the Goddess
My life. Love it, leave it. Choices I've made, regretted, accepted, you'll find it all here.
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Thursday, August 29, 2002 :::
Grrr... hard day today. Work was a pain, more so than usual. I am the alternate technican for the Video Teleconferencing system here at McGuire. It's a pain in the ass, the stupid system alwyas breaks down, and it's a high priority outage because Colonels and Generals use the system. And now the primary technican is being deployed to Saudi for 4 months, so I've been trying to learn the system enough to work the outage, all this ontop of my normal job of running the Circuit Actions database... it's been building up alot this past week.
Today, it was raining, nasty and yucky. We had tickets for a Giants game tonight... I didn't want to go too much, because I have to work tomorrow morning on a VTC, and the weather was crappy. But I was going to go and try to enjoy it and have fun.
Suz was upset earlier about her email, but we had fixed that.... we were getting ready to go, and were even in the car when we wound up fighting about going. I didn't mind that she didn't want to go, like I said, I wasn't that into it anyway. I was more upset that she didn't tell me, she was going to go when I knew she wasn't up for it and probably wasn't going to have a good time. If she had just come out and said something, I would have just said fine and we could have relaxed. I was more upset that she just didn't tell me she didn't want to go.
Anyways, I've been out for the past two hours at work. Went there to give away the tickets. Everyone in the shop jumped at the chance and frantically began phone calls, but most people couldn't go at the last minute. The crew commander finally took them, him and a friend said they could make it. At least they got to good use. Afterwards, I hung around and tried to relax a bit. They were watching 'Scary Movie' so I hung around and watched it too.
I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm not even frustrated. I just want to be able to understand and talk with Suz... it just never seems to work. Either she doesn't talk, or I overtalk or argue... I've been looking forward to relaxing with her all week. I got off until Tuedays, and can't wait to relax and do nothing. But I'm not going to be able to relax until after the VTC junk is done tomorrow morning.... today I was expecting to have to drive all night and be tired in the morning... it's nice to relax, but I wanted to make sure the tickets didn't go to waste.
I don't know... maybe I just don't know how to understand people, or read them and know what they are thinking. I'm not sensitive enough to do that. But at least I am aware of it... and I do try. Shouldn't that matter... I make the attempt... I couldn't do otherwise, I love Suz too much... I'm sorry...
::: posted by Scott at 8:12 PM
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