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Doyle's Devotions to the Goddess
My life. Love it, leave it. Choices I've made, regretted, accepted, you'll find it all here.
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Saturday, March 29, 2003 :::
Good evening Goddess, trying to smile as you bring the cleansing rains for spring. It's hard though, spent most of the day cleaning the house for when Suz's friend comes on Monday. Just another sign that I am going to be leaving soon. It's really getting harder and harder not to just break down and cry. I feel so helpless and depressed. I know Suz is feeling it too, she's been down a lot lately. I wish there was something, anything, I could do to make her feel better. I love her so much, I don't want to leave her for a year... I have no choice. I know she knows that, but I doubt it is making her feel any better.
Isis, please, lend me your strength and courage, the wisdom and comfort to be strong, to make it on this long road ahead that waits for me. Give your love and tranquility to Susan, help her to get by, to find the happiness here and be safe. With your help, we will get through, just like our many other trials in the past. Like I said previously, and like Susan always says, everything happens for a reason... we might not know why, but you will ensure it is for the best. I just need to be reminded of that from time to time and to remember you are there for us both when you need you the most.
By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...
::: posted by Scott at 10:35 PM
Tuesday, March 25, 2003 :::
Greetings Goddess, blessings of love to you in this time of strife. Things have been pretty mellow and relaxing around here lately, Suz and I are doing very good. We had a wonderful anniversary together and celebrated Ostara in your honor. We went to the 'Inn of the Dove', a quiet-getaway cottage with a fireplace and an hot-tub. We relaxed, talked, and played. It was really fun and a wonderful break to relieve stress. We both had a great time.
I got my new laptop yesterday. Been installing all my games and getting it ready to use while I'm gone. It's great and all, but like Suz said, it only reminds me that my time here is getting shorter and shorter. It's depressing and I don't want to think about it. I want to enjoy my time with Suz and be smiling and happy. Our anniversary is the perfect way I want to remember while I'm gone. I keep telling myself that the time will go by fast and it won't be that bad. I just hope sometime soon I'll start believing it. I know everything happens for a reason; if I can't see it, I just need to know that you are watching out for me and all I love and hold dear.
Found out where I am going after Korea though... Spangalim, Germany. Not my first choice, or even my second or third, but I could have gotten worse. Germany is sort of centralized in Europe, and I will make sure we will see as much of the area as we can. Trips to Paris, London, and hopefully Ireland and Scotland. I think Suz will enjoy it in the long run, even if she isn't too thrilled about it now.
Everything in life happens for a reason, and only you may know that exact reason, Goddess. But we find comfort in your embrace and know that you will continue to watch over us and keep us safe and happy. By the Force and the Spirit within... all my love...
::: posted by Scott at 8:21 PM
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