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Doyle's Devotions to the Goddess
My life. Love it, leave it. Choices I've made, regretted, accepted, you'll find it all here.
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Saturday, April 05, 2003 :::
Oh Goddess, did I make the biggest mistake possible?? Did I do the right thing for Susan by having Mystique come for a whole year? Suz has been really stressed as Mystique is settling in, she said she wanted some time alone once I left, to come to term with things on her own. But now she has to deal with a roommate as well as being away from me. I'm so sorry honey, I wanted to help you, not upset you.
Maybe if I had taught her how to drive then I wouldn't have felt like I should do this. Without being able to drive, she's totally isolated and cut-off from everything. It was a nightmare for her while I was in Spain, I didn't want to have to put her through that again. I wanted to make sure she was okay.
I know she loves Mystique, the two of them are good friends. But Mystique is very opposite from her. She's loud, active, and always talking. She needs to start giving Susan some space, quiet time alone so she can relax. Suz is very sensitive and needs time to unwind.
I hope in the long run I've made the right decision. I hope Susan will be alright... Goddess please help her, calm her troubled spirit, ease her stress and tension, bring her comfort and peace through your guidance and love. For her, Isis, she is my light, my love, my life.
By the Force and the Spirit within, all my love...
::: posted by Scott at 10:18 PM
Monday, March 31, 2003 :::
Well, she's here. Picked Mystique up at the airport today. Susan was really nervous and tense. She doesn't like change and this was definitely a big one. She was having an anxiety panic attack before we left. And I was getting all defensive and arguing instead of helping her. I feel like a dumbass. I'm sorry sweetheart.
But like I said, she's here. Talking with Suz and playing with her cat. Another cat. Dog been acting like a moron all evening... grrr... Anyways, Suz and Mystique are doing good. I know Suz is nervous about her staying for the entire year, but I think it's for the best. I know she's not the most sociable person, but you can't go for a year without human interaction. And they're already talking about all the comic-conventions and anime-cons they are going to go to. I think it will be good for her while I'm gone. Make the time go by faster for her, keep her busy. I hope it will, please Isis, let it be.
Growing more and more nervous myself, probably why I snapped a bit this morning. My departure is growing closer and closer. Just one more indication I am leaving soon. So much to do, so much to want to do. A whole year that will seem like an eternity without my love.
Please Goddess, help me. Help me be strong. It seems like that is all these entries simply are.... me asking for something. I don't mean them to be. They are my thoughts to you, my honoring your name and remembering you in my growing faith. I ask for your comfort and guidance to help me become a better follower and to get me through my trying times. I offer my thoughts and praise to you in exchange for your love. Hear my word and thoughts, and in your wisdom, grant me your assistance to myself and Susan.
By the Force and the Spirit within... all my love.
::: posted by Scott at 11:45 PM
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